Help Me Wake up from the Nightmare!

It is the eve of Election Day and I stand agape as I see the results of the polls coming in.  (It took me a while to muster the courage to publish this. I beg you to please read with an open heart, reflect & consider.)
Living in a state with a mail-in ballot this was figured out in our household weeks ago.
I put my energy into the Universe that love would prevail.
Now, I am not an all or nothing person. I am well aware that each candidate had its weaknesses and that there was “no perfect candidate”.
However I was clear what my choice would be. I often take for granted and forget that the rest of the world doesn’t have the knowledge and experience that I do.
And I apologize for not voicing my knowledge and assessment sooner. I hope that it can move us all to create a more evolved world.
I know we ALL want change. We want something different and we want to see the suffering end.
What I realize is that there is a great majority of our country that sadly is not fully educated and are not able to see what I see.
I’ll start by sharing that my professional training is as a peak performance, counseling psychologist and business mentor. I’ve spent over 17 years in higher education and have about 15 years experience working with individuals, athletes, speakers, CEO’s and business owners.
I get to hold lots of “secrets” from the most successful people. I get to experience their “underbellies” and vulnerabilities and get the privilege of contributing to their evolution into more conscious & successful beings.
I am appalled that as a country we are electing a psychopath as a president.
 
Why do I say this?
Well, here Is the DSM V criteria for Antisocial personality Disorder:
  • Blatant disregard for rules and policies.
  • Believes that the rules don’t apply to them. Failure to conform to social norms.
  • Overinflated view of themselves.
  • Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
  • Irritability and aggressiveness.
  • Blatantly lies and manipulates for their own benefit and advancement.
  • Complete disregard for the rights or safety of others.
  • Consistent irresponsibility, failure to sustain consistent work or honor financial obligations (bankruptcy 3 times?)
  • Instigates social discontent, hatred and fear.
  • Lack of remorse or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another.
Do you see some parallels?
Sadly, this was the scene in 1933 when Adolf Hitler rose to power. People were tired of the same old and wanted a change. They rejoiced when he rose to power. In a few years he began to restrict people’s rights to the point that everyone was fearful of going against him. And he slowly implemented his macabre plan to completely wipe out an entire race of people he deemed inferior. He planted the seeds of hatred, fear and division that pushed humanity backwards decades. He instigated discrimination and used fear to manipulate those in power to gain greater power himself.
 
How do I know this?
As a young child I became obsessed with reading holocaust survivor stories and I wondered how it was possible that he was ever allowed to rise to power. How was it possible that people collaborated in this evil plan.  That a single man was capable of destroying millions of lives and families?
He was a powerful and manipulative speaker who fed on the pain and fear of people, and used it to his own gain. I vowed to study what happened so that I wouldn’t allow it to happen again!
And I stand in complete disbelief and grief to see that we have elected someone EVEN WORSE to become our leader. How is this possible?
Why do I say worse?
Well because Hitler was constrained, calculated and measured. He was a monster but everything he did was well thought out and calculated.
What we have currently is a complete LOSE CANNON! Not only is he ignorant, he is irreverent, he is angry, volatile, instigating, crude, hateful and has the poorest judgment.
Women can no longer feel safe.
Minorities can no longer feel safe.
GLBT folks can no longer feel safe.
Disabled individuals can no longer feel safe.
What happened to our humanity? To our human rights? To our desire for a united nation poised to serve and lead?
You may be his supporter and if you are, I beg and implore you. Look into your heart. What do you want for your children?
Love and peace? Or fear, hatred, resentment and shame?
What is it that you really want?
 
What do you stand for?
I bet it is not about fear and hatred. I bet you simply want to feel safe and loved. You wanted a better economy.
And gues what? It is possible for all of us to have that when we commit to treating each other as brothers and sisters in our humanity.
When we choose to come together and not isolate and separate.
When we recognize when a mistake has been made and we rise up to make it better.
Let’s take action. We must not allow the electoral college to solidify his position.
You don’t like Clinton? I don’t either. But she is not a psychopath. There may be a much better suited candidate for the job for sure. I have no doubt of this. However, I don’t believe that she is capable to cause the destruction that he is capable of causing.
We have a clear and present danger. Do not ignore it. Do not rationalize it. If you are feeling fear, it is because there is a dangerous man about to get a lot of power. I implore you. Write to congress, start petitions, begin conversations, and let’s take a stand for each other.
Let’s take a stand for unity, for peace, for love, compassion, civil rights and HUMAN RIGHTS!
Not a single person is better or worse, or deserves more or less than you or me. Let’s rise up and stand for what is right in our communities, in our states and in our country!
Be brave. Speak up.
More than anything…Do not let history repeat itself.
Here is the website to the Electoral College that describes how it works.
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Are you Unkowingly Killing Your Motivation? 

Do you recognize this…

You wake up and have an idea or plan of what you want to do…

Then one thing, leads to another, to another…

Pretty soon, half the day is gone and you didn’t get “THE THING” You wanted to do, done…

Maybe you went to the gym…then had lunch… Then had a few phone calls or emails to respond and then …FB swallowed you whole…

When you finally pull your head out, its dinner time and you have to hurry and prepare dinner… and well by then..

The TV and Netflix feel way more compelling…so you tell yourself…just one show…then I’ll get to work on xyz… And then…”well just one more”… And “one more.”

Soon…it is the end of the day and time for bed. 

Maybe you are way more productive than this;  but you collapse at the end of the night equally feeling exhausted and demoralized that you are not any closer to your long term dream. 

Well YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Most of us struggle with some sort of motivational and procrastination challenge at one point or another. 

And we try to implement all kinds of strategies to become productive…

(I will share some powerful ones below)

  1. WRITE IN THE THING YOU MUST DO IN YOUR CALENDAR AND ASSIGN IT A PARTICULAR TIME SLOT. 
  2. DO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR EMAIL. 
  3. USE A TIMER AND LET OTHERS KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WORKING ON. 

NOW…if you are NOT using any of these techniques, then START!
Pick one, or two or three. These are just the tip of the iceberg of a host of strategies you can employ. 

Perhaps you feel like you’ve “been there, done that, and you know them all!”

Well two things on this:

  • I challenge you to “rethink this” we all can learn and “learn anew” a concept we understand (mentally) but we have not yet applied (embody).

REFLECTION QUESTION: Ask yourself where can I apply this learning in a deeper way?

  • If “you’ve been there done that” and you are still struggling, then perhaps you are making #1 MISTAKE most people make:

You are MISALIGNED!

I find that most of us that struggle with motivation we fit into one of two categories:

  1. Underachievement
  2. Misalignment 

Sometimes both and sometimes they are related to one another. 

What do I mean??

Simple!

If you are not connected and aligned to your DREAM, Mission & Purpose… implementing ANY of these strategies will fall to the floor. 

Many of you may be high achievers and are in fact “succeeding” yet it is driven by fear…not by love. 

You are accomplishing and getting things off your list, but it has become mechanic…your heart is no longer there. 

Strategy without heart is the SINGLE GREATEST MISTAKE we can make!

So…if you are having a hard time with motivation and the tools and strategies are no longer working…then look deeper. 

You will find your answer there. 

Want help and a guide taking you by the hand and helping you find the fire that will fuel your greatest ambitions, desires and successes?

Want someone who will push you, challenge you and stand for your greatest version of yourself?

Schedule an appointment! I’m happy to help you ELEVATE your business, life & spirit!

www.luminescent-life.com/schedule/

Post below:

  1. What is your greatest challenge with motivation, procrastination or productivity?
  2. What is your big dream that will propel you forward when your will is no longer working?
  3. What is that compelling mission you have in your heart?

What Mindfulness & Meditation Can Gift Us in this Crazy World…

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So what’s the fuss all about??

One of my clients said to me: “You always find a way to bring things back to meditation.”

I thought it was a funny observation, yet I realized that while I often encourage our clients to engage in a practice of meditation or mindfulness, I don’t always share some of the research or science behind it.

Research shows meditation works. It can help you reduce stress, be happier & less reactive. It also has shown to increase decision-making, compassion, and even reduce cravings for chocolate and other things.

Interestingly, MEDITATION was the secret-superpower, that we sport psychologists used to teach athletes to give them an edge over their competitors, and my friend and colleague Dr. Mike Gervais, has gotten the Seattle Seahawks to do incredible feats that they all attribute to meditation.

Well… let’s take a look at what all the hype is about and see how neuroscience and mindfulness line up, figure out why our brains so often get anxious, sad, or angry and learn the research-backed way to be happier — and stay that way.

Let’s get to it…

So…our brain hemispheres are divided into right and left…

You have heard it right?

right-left brain

 

The left side of the brain is the “rational” -language based brain, and the Right side of the brain is the “creative” or non-verbal side of the brain.

So for years, we have given way more credence and weight to the left side of our brain. However, we now have some compelling research:

Michael Gazzinaga, one of the top neuroscientists, has conducted some compelling experiments.  (From “The Neurotic’s Guide to Avoiding Enlightenment)

Our right and left brain hemisphere’s are connected by what’s called the “corpus collosum” and we have now recognized that it helps the information to travel freely from one side of the brain to the other. But when there were some patients in which this was damaged, it allowed them to realize some incredible findings:

Gazzinaga and his colleagues found that the left side of the brain is responsible for “interpreting” information and creating explanations (stories) and reasons to help us make sense of what is happening.

However, turns out that these are not always accurate, and in fact, they are inaccurate A LOT of the time!

An example might be:

Right brain: People at the party, are frowning and appear somewhat irritated.

Left brain: I have completely screwed up, no-one is having fun, everyone hates me and they will never attend another party I throw!

Certainly you have experienced this…and if you have been trained to “trust” your rational brain…then we are all in for a WORLD OF TROUBLE!

Certainly, we have experienced this one or two times haven’t we?

And the reality is that the brain in some ways, is trying to make its work simpler…so it likes to “cut and paste” from past experiences, and similar feelings…therefore we end up creating stories, explanations and attributions of events that are completely false.

If we allow ourselves to believe that these are true, and live our lives from the perspective of this “interpreter” then we will certainly be creating problems where there are none, and generating an inordinate amount of stress and stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine (responsible for increased heart rate, breath rate, heart palpitations, sweat, and fat deposition around our middles, only to name a few).

What does all of this have to do with Meditation?

Well, turns out that our Right brain who is simply perceiving information, without any judgment or categorization…(what some may call inefficient), may be a little better…

Our right side of the brain is interested in simply experiencing things…from a purely sensory and non-verbal place.

MEDITATION

I often say that meditation is the “training ground” and mindfulness is the “practical application”. 

What I mean by this is that MEDITATION is the practice that allows us to TRAIN our minds, (like we would our bodies) to simply OBSERVE, take things in, without making a single judgment, and without getting caught up in a story.

It allows us to TRAIN OUR FOCUS on either our breath, or a single cue word, or sensation, so that we can experience and recognize that WE are in fact in control of our thoughts, our feelings and our actions.

It teaches us to SLOW DOWN, and simply experience…neither good, nor bad, and help us get out of the dualistic mindset that is such a problem for us today.

MINDFULNESS

This is the actual application of our meditation practice. For example, many years ago I made a commitment to meditating EVERY day before I started my day.

I didn’t do it with a certain outcome in mind, but I wanted to train myself to have a routine, and also had read some of the beneficial outcomes of meditation for the brain, so I figured why not?

It was like trying to carve my eyes out with a spoon! I struggled tremendously…and was quickly aware of how undisciplined my monkey brain was!!

What I found was that when I meditate I tend to deal with life in a much more optimistic, and un-reactive way, without DETACHING from my emotions or being numb.

I value being an enthusiastic and loving person so I was not interested in NUMBING…I was interested in ELEVATING…and I got so much more than that!

The “story-weaver” doesn’t wreck havoc in my life anymore. I can simply take events as they are, and then test out any assumptions, observe my thoughts & feelings and recognize underlying belief patterns that may not be serving me.

Mindfulness is about PRESENT to the Moment-to-moment experience without being caught in the tornado of story, emotions, or other people’s drama. It allows you to CHOOSE how you want to react, respond and BE.

Overall, I am NOT an unusual case: Most people who meditate have indicated similar results:

  1. Decreased judgments and assumptions about what is happening.
  2. Decreased drama and increased emotional mastery.
  3. Increased resilience – and ability to tolerate discomfort, deal with unexpected situations and unknowns.
  4. Increased positive emotions & happiness.
  5. Increased gratitude and compassion.
  6. Became more confident and trusting of themselves.
  7. Had more peak experiences (Flow)

So what meditation and mindfulness teaches us, is what I have been teaching my clients for decades:

“What we focus on, is what grows.”

So…what do you want to create more of in your life?

Want more joy and happiness? Try this:

  1. At the end of the day write 3 things that you are most grateful for, or people who have supported you in some way that you have gratitude for.
  2. Start Meditating for 5-10 min every day. Focus on a word, or a feeling you want to have more of.
  3. Create a celebration journal/ or celebration jar where you write things you feel good about doing.
  4. Focus on 1-3 things you can do to improve the lives of others. (When you begin to focus on how to help others, you shift your attention from all your judgments to sharing your gifts.)
  5. Recognize and remember that YOU are in charge of creating your happiness, by what YOU CHOOSE TO FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON.

So What will you Choose?

I’d say that given the world that we live in…MEDITATION should be in everyone’s curriculum, so we can all contribute to a better and happier world.

Meditation & Mindfulness are just simple tools to help you re-connect to your authentic self, to get you to recognize your faulty thinking patterns, and allow you to re-wire those thoughts and beliefs, to create the results and outcomes you most desire.

If you are interested in expanding your knowledge or learning more tools on how you can transform your fear and increase your authentic confidence, so you can increase your personal power, your influence and your income, then visit:

http://tinyurl.com/supercharge-confidence

And if you are curious to know how you score in this amazing superpower…TAKE THIS QUIZ.

NOW ITS YOUR TURN:

Post your biggest take-aways, Your questions, comments…

What is ONE thing you would like to implement in your life?

 

Wishing you love, light and brilliant success!

Dr. Elena 

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Dr. Estanol is a peak performance psychologist and Intuitive Business Mentor,  passionate about helping heart-centered entrepreneurs ignite their passion & purpose to build, grow or expand their practices into profitable and transformational businesses.

She has a proven method to help you breakthrough your internal barriers to success, align with your intuition, achieve authentic confidence, and take inspired action to attract clients, create brilliant programs, enroll clients, double your revenue and deliver transformational results!

www.luminescent-life.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the Shitstorm Taught me…

Do you ever feel caught in the middle of a shitstorm figuratively or literally?
Well this is a real story…
You may know that we had been tirelessly working to remodel a new state of the art building for both of our centers to move into…
It turned out beautifully. (if you are interested in seeing pics, you can at www.synapsecounseling.com/blog/)
However, I’m here to tell you about the shitstorm that ensued only 2 weeks after we moved.
One of the toilets clogged. After realizing that the plunger alone wasn’t doing it we called the Roto rooter.
Well…he had to take the toilet out and use his “snake” to figure out what was clogging the drain…there was s**t literally everywhere.
It was awful.
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And he didn’t finish that evening. He said he would have to come back the next day but that he would access it through the roof…
So, I was there till 1:00 am cleaning…it was everywhere… and it took everything I had.
I couldn’t eat anything that night.
The next morning he met us at 10:00 am and after a quick inspection informed us he wouldn’t be able to get it through the roof, so he would have to go through the bathroom …and started the whole process again!
Finally dug up some paper towels from the pipes…sigh…
Yet the mess was made all over!
Splashed all the way to half-way up the wall.
So for a 2nd day I spent the entire day cleaning crap… literally.
Wow- grateful for the job these guys do, and I don’t think I would have the stomach to do it!
Around 5:45 pm, I was exhausted and (surprisingly hungry), getting ready to go home, I get a call from one of my employees who was supposed to lead a group @ 6:00 pm.
She indicated she had an emergency situation come up and that she wouldn’t be able to facilitate the group and neither could anyone else!!
Oh boy!
I’m embarrassed to admit it, but it was one of those moments where I wanted to throw the phone across the room and cry. 
I didn’t do either of them, but I got off the phone as quickly as I could. I had 15 min to decide what to do.
I felt it was too short notice to let our clients know that we would be cancelling the group.
So I did what I felt was the best solution in the moment.
Washed up thoroughly, ate a quick snack, and quickly turned my mind, my attitude and my energy around as I set up the room for the group.
The group was fabulous. And I facilitated a powerful process that group members indicated felt was extremely beneficial to what was going on for them at that moment, and allowed them to shed their fears about oncoming situations.
And as I reflected about this I realized, this shitstorm actually was a blessing in disguise.
An opportunity for me to learn and apply several lessons:
  1. I am able to walk my talk. So huge. I often talk about facing fears and frustrations with the best attitude and it’s our attitude what ultimately has the power to overturn outcomes.
  2. Well I had an opportunity to prove my system works.
  3. And it increased my confidence in my ability to deal with shitty situations as they come.
  4. No need to worry and stress ahead of time. I knew just what to do when the time came (intuition); and I had the courage and strength to make it happen.
  5. It highlighted for me the beauty that lies in less-than-ideal situations when we are willing to rise above.
As human beings we are “wired” to avoid anything that is uncomfortable. 
And yet, uncomfortable and even painful situations usually give us an opportunity to stretch ourselves, to raise to the challenge and to see that if we are willing to lean into the discomfort, there is a hidden jewel or blessing in every storm.
What are the storms you have braved and what did you learn from them?
Dr. Estanol is a #1 Best-selling author, peak performance psychologist, and Intuitive prosperity business mentor. Who loves empowering entrepreneurs to turn their passions into profitable & transformational businesses & make a greater difference in the world.
 
Do you want to know some of her strategies:

Can Intuition Supercharge Your Business?

I am writing this “commissioned blog” as part of an Intuition Blog Hop my Friend RoseAnn Janzen started. So you may see it posted here and in my business page www.luminescent-life.com

I have heard people say: “I am very intuitive or I’m not intuitive”…and the reality is that WE ARE ALL intuitive!

The difference is whether we are TUNED IN, consciously aware, able to recognize, and listen to how our intuition speaks to us!

Or whether, given our cultural upbringing we felt we needed to abandon, suppress or disconnect from this way of knowing.

Depending on how people respond to you when you are a child, you either learn to value and trust it or to suppress and hide it.

If you are a closet rebel like I used to be, you may have learned to trust and develop it, but kept quiet due to fears that others may not approve!

What is interesting about our individual gifts is that they come easily, we have always had them, and therefore we tend to think that either they are pretty normal (everyone else must experience this right?) OR we feel ashamed and think “Something must be really wrong with me, and I sure as hell, won’t let anyone get wind of it!”

My hope is that reading this, may help you identify your own gifts, and understand how you can use them to build your business, increase your impact, your income and improve your life!

A SNAPSHOT FROM MY INTUITIVE JOURNEY

Being a highly intuitive, sensitive, passionate, empathetic and idealistic being didn’t always feel like the best compilation of gifts. I have an innate ability to see what is beautiful in the world, and the innate potential that exists in people, places and ideas. However I am also highly sensitive to information that is all around me and often integrate into my impressions. This can be incredibly useful or incredibly overwhelming.

What many people don’t know or quite understand is that there are many intuitive gifts that we can develop or that we are gifted with. Some intuitives get to see angels, spirits or other beings. Many others see symbols, pictures or other mental images. People who have the gift of “seeing” are often called “clairvoyants“.

I have often been a bit jealous of clairvoyants because they get to SEE the relevant information and guidance they are receiving. Though as an adult I don’t consider myself a clarivoyant, as a child I saw and played with one of my spirit guides.

I suppose you could say I have always entertained myself quite well.

However as I have matured, I personally only receive information through 3 channels:

“Clariaudience” (ability to “hear” guidance); “clarisentience” (ability to tune into and read gut feelings, or sense/feel things, people or environments); and “claricognizance” (which is the ability to just know things. Information just pours into your brain and you know things that you didn’t know you did.)

QUITE HONESTLY, THESE GIFTS FELT LIKE A CURSE FOR A LONG TIME!

Being such a sensitive being, I just felt out of place, for a huge part of my life. In fact, my memories of being a child (especially at school) are not happy memories. I never could figure out why people would be so disingenuous and mean. I am naturally introverted, and though I am incredibly curious, I like to observe and sense into situations, which was not always well received.  One of my “superpowers” is that I can tell when people are lying, when they are inauthentic and dishonest. And though, I can clearly see how valuable this is now, growing up, it really sucked!

I often felt out of place, ostracized and felt like there was something terribly wrong with me, because I felt so many things at the same time! Being able to sense and feel other’s emotions felt like a HUGE burden, partly because it took me A LONG TIME to figure out that what I was feeling was not always mine.

 

A LITTLE CRAZY?

I venture to say that it felt like I was a little crazy! I often got overwhelmed by other’s emotions, and being around anyone that was angry, yelling, or abrasive in any way, felt like I was being pelleted with nails!IMG_3923

I felt like I needed to be in some kind of protective bubble, to avoid being hurt, and at the same time, the more I would pull away the more ostracized, alone, and left out I felt.

I frequently have very vivid dreams. Many of them feel like I am literally traveling across worlds and dimensions to visit, experience, or witness certain things. It is at times exhausting and exhilarating! Yet, I began to notice, that my dreams held important guidance and information about my life and my purpose.

I can still recall a specific dream in which “I knew” I needed to help heal wounded souls, bring them out of the darkness into the light, and continue going back into darkness to lead souls into the light.

This was both powerful, and scary.

Having been born to a pair of brilliant physicians, an ophthalmologist and a neurologist, I also learned that I needed to use science and evidence as a way of knowing. This was confusing and also reinforcing of the fact that I needed to keep my “crazy abilities” well hidden from plain view.

However, I slowly began to notice that these ‘crazy’ experiences held, supported me and guided me.

It all became clear around 14 when I travelled to Cuba. I am unsure why there, but I felt so many powerful presences and influences, and my intuition was strong, loud and clear!

At one point, I was lost trying to visit a friend. I had visited with him once, but now trying to find the place on my own, as the Sun came down, everything looked different. Men were “cat-calling me” and I became extremely frightened.  So I intuitively prayed and asked for guidance. I continued walking and stopped at each intersection, and in that moment, it was as if this dormant internal GPS woke up! I clearly “heard”… “right”, “left”, straight”…and this is how I arrived at my destination!

I was astounded and intrigued. I continued to listen for this voice AND heeding its advice. At one point, I remember sitting in a bus about to take us back to our hotel, and I heard: “you need to get on that bus” (the bus that was sitting across from us, to take off AFTER the one we were on”). It was crazy, but I listened. I told my friend, “I’m supposed to be on THAT bus!” and picked up my bag to leave. She said “but this one is leaving first!”, I just kept walking. She followed me shaking her head. Clearly annoyed and certainly thinking I must be off my rocker. But when we got to the hotel, we learned the other bus (the one that left before us), had gotten into an accident and was waiting to be repaired. People on that bus arrived 4 hours later!

And after that, I knew this was a certainly gift, and not a curse. But it was a gift that I would need to learn to refine, to listen and not try to reason with.

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EMBRACING ART, SCIENCE AND INTUITION

However, I was keenly aware that in my environment, talking about this way of knowing was not acceptable. Though I had initially wanted to heal the world by creating beauty through my dance performances (and I still do), I became obsessed with understanding human nature, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, cognitions, how our brains function, dreams and why we do what we do.

So after a beautiful career as a ballerina, and a career-ending injury, I knew that I needed to study psychology. It was actually in my Ph.D. studies, that I truly understood how powerful science is, and also how easily it can be manipulated. I also understood that the value of my feelings and sensations, though without a numerical score, were what created the most powerful associations, interventions and directions in my life.

While immersed in being a psychologist in a scientist-practitioner model, I noticed that it was when my heart was open, fully immersed in listening to my client’s experience, that I could SENSE what they were feeling, what they were thinking and I could SENSE and FEEL what they needed. It was often during my intimate sessions with clients that a stream of consciousness would come through me that I knew was clearly NOT mine, as I would have NOT previously KNOWN that information, yet it just flowed as though I had given that lecture a 1000 times!

I will never forget a first client session with a beautiful and highly intuitive young woman. At the end of the session she looked at me with an expression of awe, confusion, surprise and fear all rolled into one. I inquired about what she was feeling. I will never forget her response: “I have NEVER had anyone see me, understand me, and articulate back to me with such depth and precision what I have been experiencing. It is incredible and a little scary all at once!” She and I did powerful work for quite some time, and she is now unleashing her own gifts into the world.

However, these are not the types of things that I have been ‘trained, taught, or endorsed’ to share. I remember being teased in graduate school that I would do “Hug Therapy”, said in a somewhat condescending fashion because we are “not supposed to touch our clients”. I have since realized that the healing power of a hug is so much greater than any intervention, strategy or skill that we might teach. Though I spend my time doing coaching more, I still hug my clients.

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INTUITION AT THE HEART OF MY BUSINESS

I call myself an intuitive prosperity and business mentor, in addition to being a peak performance psychologist, because ever since I chose to leave the safety of my University Position, INTUITION HAS BEEN MY CLOSEST PARTNER.

I have also learned that the UNIVERSE TRULY ORGANIZES ITSELF TO SUPPORT ME, once I claim my truth. It took me almost 6 months to make the decision to leave the University and become an entrepreneur. I was told: “You will never make it! There is a therapist or coach in each corner in this town!” Yet I knew I needed to trust my inner sense that leaving was the right thing for me.

It didn’t disappoint me. My intuitive rebel, internally responded “Just watch me”. Literally 5 seconds after I told my husband out loud, “I think I am read to leave”, I got a text from a friend telling me that office space had opened up next to her. And not only did I create a successful practice, we have now grown to a Thriving group practice with 6 employees/associates who have been drawn to me and my vision.

My intuition has guided me to look and build a State of the Art Facility in which both businesses will be housed that we are currently finishing up. This was a vision that appeared to me 18 years ago. It is nice to trust and see things come to fruition, when you fully believe, trust and keep working tirelessly to bring things to life.

I have made it a point to have some practices in place to keep me aligned with my true source and my intuition in all my decisions. 

Daily meditation is just one of them, but every manifestation in my business is a reflection of my internal alignment, my energy and my mindset. I don’t pretend to imply that hard work, skills, systems and strategy are not needed. These and other things are crucial in manifesting the vision. However, without the alignment, the vision, the energy, and mindset, NONE of those things matter. 

Every time I need to hire a new employee, before I even finish drafting an add, I have 5-6 applications in my inbox. Clients flow to our center when I am truly aligned, living in abundance and co-creating with the Universe in loving harmony. The flow stops when I get tired, burnt-out and disconnected. It never fails.

My intuition, guides every decision I make, every hire, every training, every new endeavor, program or opportunity we take advantage of, in both of my businesses. I feel so strongly about the power of connecting to our intuition that I now teach it and make it an integral part of everything I do. Prosperity and abundance follow as I am more aligned in my purpose.

One of the biggest and most important things we MUST do as entrepreneurs is MAKE DECISIONS! MANY DECISIONS IN FACT! At times it may feel like you have the weight of the world and have to make very important, life changing, and potentially catastrophic decisions EVERY MOMENT!

I remember once having to decide whether to fire someone, who to hire, how to confront a client, what coach or program to enroll, whether to put an offer on a house, whether to embark on a large project and where to go on vacation. It felt so overwhelming and heavy then, and I just wanted to climb under the covers, but it needed to be made in a weekend. Reading over this now, it doesn’t seem nearly that big of a deal, because my container has expanded to the point that making many of these decisions is a common occurrence, and the ONLY way that I EVER feel comfortable with the decisions I make is by TUNNING INTO AND LISTENING TO MY INTUITION!

Often people look at me with a perplexed expression when they see me or hear me speak about how I take risks, create new ideas, and take new directions. It is a bit like they are trying to make up their mind…”You are either…incredibly naive….incredibly stupid…or incredibly courageous….I just don’t know which one.” I have gotten used to this expression, and it just amuses me now. Because the longer I live, the longer I trust, take risks and leaps of faith, the more it is revealed to me that we can truly flow with ease, grace and love if we just connect to our intuitive center and our Higher Source.

So, if you are interested in finding out how you can create an aligned, purposeful, transformational and profitable business, with ease, grace and flow by connecting and using your intuition, learning innovative re-wiring technologies for your mind, and employing visionary and grounded strategies, I would LOVE to work with you!

You can click here to schedule to a Luminous Business Strategy Consultation, or to inquire if you qualify for my Exclusive Mastermind “Evolve your Business and Your Spirit!” (you can also check out our last post on Masterminds.)

Also as part of our Blog hop, I am including the link to the Next blog in the series by Allura Adelson. http://www.divinelyinspiredbusiness.com/uncategorized/am-i-psychic/

Please comment and let me know how this resonates with you, inspires you or opens you to receive your own guidance. 

In love and light,

Dr. Elena

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR LOVE?

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR LOVE?

I am frustrated and heartbroken to see so many beautiful, luminous people judging and hating themselves, because we have been socialized to do this.

It is so sad to see how Self-judgment and self-criticism have become permanent fixtures in our internal landscape, and how in turn this reflects in the external landscape of our actions, our relationships and the way that we show up in the world.

I’m fairly certain that our parents, and grandparents, and ancestors were afraid we would become a narcissistic society and they emphasized developing humbleness. However, I think we have gravely misunderstood what humbleness means and instead we have opted for a diluted, cheap version of self-criticism, that we somehow turned into a badge of honor!

Listening to women in a small group, it almost feels like there is a competition to see who beats herself up the most viciously! HOW HAVE WE COME TO THIS?

Slowly and insidiously this practice is responsible for our demise in all aspects of our beings.

2

I strongly believe that self-love holds the key to much of our healing,

happiness, abundance and success.

I know this is a bold claim. However my own experience and 15 years working as a counseling and peak performance psychologist have led me to these conclusions. There is a certain kind of wisdom and knowledge that you accrue after working with so many people in a very deep way.

We get to see the under-bellies that we do fiercely protect when interacting with others, and I get to see the effects these practices have upon our psyches, our emotional health, our bodies and our spirits. I SEE the devastation and breakdown this is causing, and it is time for us to put a stop to it!

Though I wish I had always been self-loving, that would be a complete farce. And I am done with falsities and half-truths. The reality is that I am so passionate about promoting self-love because I have had to work very hard on this.

We humans, are funny. We often struggle to assimilate lessons in one dose. We are stubborn and therefore we often have cyclical lessons. Patterns that repeat and patterns we must work hard to break and change. I am no stranger to this. In fact, I was one of the most stubborn students!

For years I struggled with self-criticism and self-judgment to the point of developing a vicious eating disorder that took everything I loved from me! It even led me to contemplate taking my life away.

It has been a long road to recognize how far I had strayed from my true nature.

In case you are wondering…

We are ALL love, luminous and brilliant beings, with unique gifts we bring the world.

As kids we are all fascinating, curious and genuine. Through school we learn that being “different” is bad and we spend the rest of our years attempting to blend in, fit into a mold of “normalcy and mediocrity” and ultimately disconnect from our true essence: “love”.

“Love is all there is!” Once you drop your ego, once you drop the pretenses, once you drop the self-criticism, and self-judgment you will see that this is who and what we are.

Learning to re-connect to love and cultivate self-love is a crucial step to healing our bodies, our minds, our hearts and our spirits.

The damage that self-judgment and self-criticism causes is deep, insidious and thwarting of our growth and highest potential.

Yet it is soo accepted, so pernicious, that it has become a “normal” thing.

So if you are feeling stuck, and disconnected, check your relationship with yourself. Are you loving or critical? Are you judgmental and demanding? Or are you kind and compassionate?

Self-love is a foundational practice from which so much of our growth evolves. Increased focus, passion, purpose, productivity, profits, abundance, health and success all stem and grow with self-love.

It’s not to say it is the only practice you need, but rather it is a foundational practice that if left unchecked will have you spinning your wheels doing ALL KINDS OF THINGS and not seeing the results that you desire.

This is ONE important piece.

IMG_6050

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM MY OWN JOURNEY:

  • First and foremost,  we ALL need to work on this, it shows up in different ways and in all levels of our existence. AS we expand and grow it shows up in other ways and new opportunities to practice. (Remember? We are generally learn lessons in a cyclical nature).
  • For instance, I hardly ever judge or criticize myself anymore, I practice compassion and I’m good to myself.
  • However, my challenge in self-love becomes in taking care of my body and sleeping more, even when I am inspired to keep working, writing or creating.
  • For you it may show up in listening to your body and eating enough, going to the bathroom when nature calls, affirming and encouraging yourself, or simply being kind to yourself when you make a mistake. These are all self-loving practices.
  • It is a SIMLPLE CONCEPT YET it takes diligence and perseverance and a strong commitment to work on this.
  • It takes practicing mindfulness, and compassion, each and every moment.
  • It takes accepting that we are imperfect and learning to appreciate and love our imperfections.
  • It takes a village:
  • The more people you involve in your journey towards self-love that can support you and remind you, and model for you the more likely it is that you will do it.
  • PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF FOR judging yourself! This is a process.

 

WAYS TO PRACTICE:

As I was co-creating with my interviewer Tandy Elisala, we started with 3 practices and we quickly graduated to 5, so here they are:

These are simple things that are difficult to practice consistently:

  1.  Compassion
    •  The more you can practice compassion for you, your mistakes, perceived flaws or imperfections the MORE compassion you will have towards others.
    • Meditate on compassion, and visualize your heart center opening and flowing with love and kindness.IMG_5669
  2.  Forgiveness
    •  Learning forgiveness is one of the most crucial lessons we are here to learn.
    • Practicing forgiveness with ourselves opens our hearts to forgiving others much more easily and letting go of resentment, grudges and blame.
    • Forgive yourself for the pain you have caused yourself. Forgive yourself for the pain you have caused others.
    • Assimilate the lessons, and let the guilt and shame go.
  3.  Gratitude
    •  Perhaps one of the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT PRACTICES!
    •  Gratitude attunes us to what is already good, beautiful and what we feel thankful for. It opens out hearts, it elevates our vibration and creates a positive energy exchange and re-wires our minds, hearts towards love, more gratitude and happiness. It re-attune us to be looking for positive things rather than negative things.
    •  Practice by writing on a gratitude journal; putting papers or pebbles in a gratitude jar, telling someone that you are grateful, listing the things that your body naturally does without you having to think about it, or listening to a gratitude meditation.
  4.  Service
    • When we feel crappy and get trapped in our cycles of self-judgment, imperfection and victim stories; one of the best things to do is to perform acts of service for others. Whether this:
    • smiling to strangers
    • Donating $ or time to help others.
    • Helping a friend.
    • Cooking a meal
    • This gets you out of your own self-pity, and allows you to feel capable of improving someone else’s life and in turn value yours.
  5. Nature-
    • Nature holds the richness of our life force energy.
    • By attuning to nature we are able to ground back into our true nature, we are able to let go of all of the energetic drains, and allow us to see ourselves reflected back in the beauty of our surroundings.
    • Go for a walk
    • Sit on a park bench
    • Take off your shoes and walk or lay on the grass
    • Hug a tree
    • Stand or sit with your back against a tree.
    • Dip your toes in the water.
    • Just inhale the beauty all around you!
  • WHY IS SELF- LOVE SO DAMN IMPORTANT??!
    • I truly believe self-love is the KEY to world peace, happiness, success and abundance.
    • Because we reflect outwardly what is going on inwardly, the more judgment and criticism that we hold for ourselves, the more judgment and criticism we hold for others.
    • The less compassionate, the less forgiving and the less understanding we are of ourselves, the less we are of others.
    • Self-judgment, criticism, shame and guilt keeps us divided, separate, and self-conscious. It keeps us judging and harboring grudges, resentment and hatred.
    • Self- love is really the key to healing our bodies, minds, hearts and spirits!
    • SELF-LOVE IS THE KEY TO WORLD PEACE!

In love and light,

Dr. Estanol.

Do you want to receive a guide on Principles for Loving your Body? 

WANT TO EXPLORE AND RECEIVE $300 off Dr. Estanol’s New Course?

“QUANTUM LEAP YOUR RESULTS: Practices for increased Focus, Productivity, Peak Performance and Profits in our Evolving World” http://tinyurl.com/quantum-course

10 Strategies to Set up Your New Year for Success!

2As we are bringing 2015 to a close, I’m taking some time to reflect on this past year, celebrate the successes, grieve the losses, integrate the lessons and acknowledge the seeds of expansion blossoming in my heart.

One of those lessons for me was realizing that as a Vata (Ayurveda) body, I am always on the move, fueled by ideas and constantly in a place of inspiration, movement and expansion.
And because of this I STRUGGLE to take time to slow down, reflect and honor what is. This is something that has been pounded into me, as I usually go as hard and as fast as I can until I literally collapse from illness, burnout or injury.
And while this is a pattern that has pervaded my whole life (and I continue to work on), this year brought a new appreciation. First because I finally didn’t collapse or burn out or have some dramatic mishap, but arrived as a quiet teaching by our ecotherapist Kimberly Beck.
While we wished her goodbye this year, there was an opening for me that combined with my daily meditation practice helped me to realize HOW important it is to reflect, integrate and close loops before thrusting forward.
Like most, I also fall into the trap of re-running my disappointments or thinking about all of the things that are yet to come and what I need to do for them, without acknowledging the “gems” from each of these experiences.
So while everyone is talking about welcoming 2016…yes I will get to this too…:-)
I propose that the welcoming begins with the reflection of what has happened and the acceptance of what is. 
 
So… Here are a few questions to ponder:
  1. What am I most proud of this year?
  2. What were my greatest successes?
  3. What contributed to these results?
  4. What do I need to continue to integrate in moving forward?
  5. What were my biggest disappointments?
  6. What are the biggest lessons I learned from them?
  7. How can I integrate these lessons into my present and my future?
  8. What are things I need to do, practice, adopt to live the life I most desire?
  9. What are the next steps and leaps I need to be taking to keep moving forward?
  10. Am I living my purpose and my passion?
  11. Am I contributing to my family, my friends, my community, my surroundings or my world in a positive way?
  12. If not, what am I committing to doing differently in the coming year?
HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OUR OF THIS EXERCISE & INTEGRATE INTO YOUR NEW YEAR’S INTENTIONS:
  1. REFLECT DEEPLY:
    1. Take some quiet time, meditation, walking, or simply alone time.
  2. WRITE:
    1. Now make sure you not just “think” about these questions but actually take time to write them down.
    2. Because in the act of writing we process in a different way, we make them more real and it deepens the learning.
  3. SAY GOODBYE:
    1. In general, we are terrible at saying goodbye in our culture. Yet it is an important part of closing loops.
    2. Make a ritual of how to let go. Be creative.
      1. Here are a few ideas:
        1. Write all you want to let go on a piece of paper.
        2. Take time to THANK IT FOR WHAT IT TAUGHT YOU.
        3. Shred it and toss it.
        4. Burn it.
        5. Put it in a balloon and let it go.
        6. Put into a glass jar and toss into the river or any flowing body of water.
        7. Visualize it and put it into a small bubble of light and see it getting farther and farther until you cannot longer see it.
        8. visualize and feel the energy leaving your body through the bottoms of your feet and the palms of your hands.
        9. Stand under a large waterfall or shower and see it all washing away.
  4. SET AN INTENTION:
    1. Decide WHAT is it that you want to bring into your future.
    2. You can get access to a FREE INTENTION MEDITATION HERE: http://www.luminescent-life.com/free-resources/
  5. FOCUS:
    1. ON the specific result you want to accomplish.
    2. The more specific and focused it is the better.
    3. Turn off distractions, put on your horse blinders and get to work!
  6. VISUALIZE THE RESULT
    1. Not just visually, create an entire inner experience.
    2. See it, feel it, smell it, hear it…The more you do it the more likely it is that you will stick to it.
  7. COMMIT TO CHANGE
    1. Lots of people like to write goals, create vision boards, and set intentions…
    2. However without the actual commitment most people fall through.
    3. Commitment it an integral component of re-wiring your brain.
  8. BREAK IT INTO SMALL STEPS
    1. Start today!
    2. Break it into small enough steps that you can start doing things today, tomorrow the next day…
    3. You don’t have to finish the entire book in one sitting…commit to writing 2 paragraphs!
  9. GET AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY OR MASTERMIND GROUP
    1. Mastermind groups are one of the most powerful ways to quantum leap your results.
    2. They use the collective energy of the group to propel you forward into action, gives you accountability and provide success!
    3. If you are interested in participating in one, feel free to email me as I will be starting some powerful masterminds this year! (Clients@luminescent-life.com)
  10. PUT IT IN YOUR SCHEDULE…
    1. Research indicates that it’s not your TO DO list, but what you actually put into your schedule that is what gets done!
Wishing you an amazingly brilliant, healthy, peaceful, successful and prosperous New Year!

Interested in getting more specific, practical and tangible strategies of how you can Quantum Leap your Results?
In love and light,
Dr. Elena Estanol.
 Dr. Estanol is a peak performance psychologist and Intuitive Business Coach passionate about helping heart-centered entrepreneurs (healers, coaches, teachers, therapists, holistic practitioners, trainers, etc), ignite their passion & purpose to build, grow & expand their practices into profitable and transformational businesses. She has a proven method to help you breakthrough your internal barriers to success, align with your intuition, achieve authentic confidence, and take inspired action to attract clients, create brilliant programs, enroll clients, double your income and deliver transformational results!

TRANSFORMING MY FEARS…

Have you ever felt resistant and almost rebellious against doing something you have committed to do?
I just returned from a conference I resisted going from the start.
I’m not sure if this has happened to you, but I wonder if you have ever felt this internal resistance, fear, doubt, rebelliousness and insecurity creep up inside of you…
Well this was me! Not just a day, or two, but for a few weeks!
You see, I’m a firm believer in “imperfect action”, and “saying yes, even when you hear the doubt inside”- so I have grown a multiple 6-Figure practice by taking risks, making commitments I wasn’t quite ready for, and taking on challenges I had no idea I could take on. And you know what?
Every time it works out! Every time! It hasn’t failed. However it doesn’t mean that I don’t get to feel the fear, the doubt, the overwhelm and the resistance.
For this particular event it was strong.
A year ago…I was asked to participate in a multicultural performance psychology panel. I said NO. They begged. I said NO. My reasoning: “I don’t have anything good to say”.
This year, they asked…I said NO, they begged…I agreed. Then I figured I would back out later.
 
Except….I completely forgot about it!!
So three weeks before the event, when I got an excited message from the organizer about how they were looking forward to my participation…I panicked!!
It was too late to back out gracefully. So I adhered to my commitment, sent a panicked email to my list-serve requesting roommates which I promptly got and booked my hotel and flight.
The problem was, I STILL didn’t want to do it.
I felt the resistance rising, more and more. When I asked about the structure and questions we would have I answer, the answers only served to deepen my resistance and my fear.
My deepest fears came up:
  1. I don’t have anything good to share. All my experiences have been negative. I don’t want to be discouraging.
  2. My experiences will be invalidated.
  3. They will be used as excuses to highlight my incompetence.
  4. I will be a poor spokesperson for the Latina culture I am supposed to represent.
  5. I will walk away feeling angrier and more invalidated.
  6. Worst of all, I will actually discredit my work to further multicultural competence.

Ugh! It was UGLY!!

However, I realized I was tired, over-extended, and completely dramatizing things in my head. I breathed…several times.. A LOT!
I meditated…and grounded myself in the knowledge that I would be guided to know what to do and what to say when the time came.
Pretty nerve-racking you say??
It required complete trust in the Universe, that I will be given the answer and I would know what I needed to do.
I kept thinking, and thinking…I didn’t make myself sit in front of my computer as I didn’t want to force it.  Yet nothing was coming…
Days passed…
I tried to stay focused on the present, breathing and trusting…
The night before my trip as I was packing my bags I still had nothing…
Universe!!! Way to test my trust and my stomach!
But I continued the packing…and somewhere in the middle of deciding whether I should pack a dress or pants, and as I looked through my closet for the options available, things started coming together slowly and then very clearly into my vision.
I pulled out two dresses: A Red dress and a Yellow dress. 
First of all, I hardly EVER wear dresses (a conversation for another time), and second of all, it was a Sport & Performance Psychology Conference- NO ONE wears dresses!!
And then it dawned on me…why don’t women wear dresses? Why do women end up wearing the “masculine uniform” of slacks, polos and sensible shoes?
Mhhmm…and I started getting it…”wear the yellow dress.” “Take both dresses, use this as an example!”,  “Don’t tell stories; offer an experience!!”
But…but…I don’t like wearing dresses, let alone a yellow dress where I will stick out like a sore thumb!
PRECISELY…
You wanted opportunities to practice being yourself? To practice being bold and courageous? Making a difference? Changing people’s minds? Providing a transformation?
 
Here you go! Silver platter!!
“WHOA! BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU ASK FOR, YOU MAY JUST GET IT!”
And so, it was that during packing, I received the entirety of the script of the experience I was to provide. How I would use myself as a bold example of how we SEE COLOR, of how OUR APPEARANCE plays a role in how we are viewed and judged, AND how our ASSUMPTIONS, keep us locked into beliefs that no longer serve us or our societies?
This meant many uncomfortable things for me:
  1. Calling attention to myself AND my appearance
  2. Boycotting the structure and plan of the panel organizer and the rest of the panelists
  3. Going way outside the norm of how we would deliver a presentation in a professional conference
  4. Being courageous, authentic, powerful, persuasive and inspiring at the same time
  5. Doing it in 5 minutes or less…
If I had thought about this 3 weeks or a month before, I think I would have cancelled the whole thing!
Today, I am proud to say that I pulled all of it off!!
ALL OF IT!
I am sharing because I didn’t think I could even do what I was asked to so initially, let alone all of this other SH…t!
I also share because rather than spending my time and resources in fighting and doubting myself; I put my trust in my intuition, and trust that the Universe will support my highest desires, and used my knowledge, education, experience, wisdom and time in trying to figure out:
HOW CAN I PROVIDE A TRANSFORMATIVE EXPERIENCE?
 
HOW CAN I BE OF THE HIGHEST SERVICE?
I merely switched the focus away from MY perceived shortcomings and inadequacies and focused instead on how I could serve others.
This was the KEY to UNLOCKNG MY HIGHEST POTENTIAL AND UNIVERSAL SUPPORT.
REMEMBER, this is not about me or about you, it is about how WE can SERVE those that we come in contact with. Then we will be supported in every way!
Dr. Estanol is a peak performance psychologist and Intuitive Business Coach passionate about helping heart-centered entrepreneurs, turn their passions into profitable and transformational businesses. She has a proven system to help you breakthrough your internal barriers to success, connect to your intuition, achieve authentic confidence, and take inspired action. Her sophisticated system will help you build, grow or expand your business  in a genuine way, aligned both with your Stage of Business Development and your highest purpose, to maximize your income and your impact!

6 Simple Strategies to Re-wire Your Brain and Laugh in the Face of Failure!

  
Let’s face it, unless you are supernatural or completely in denial, WE WILL ALL EXPERIENCE FAILURE at some point in our lives!!

Most of us see others Succeed and we think we are the “only ones” that ever fail. Yet the reality is that success is mired with many failures and disappointments along the way as cleverly depicted in the picture above. 

Failure is not a pleasant thing, I will give you that! But WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE IT HOLDS ALL THE KEYS TO FUTURE SUCCESS!

And ALL OF IT HAS TO DO WITH MINDSET!

Carol Dweck a sport psychology researcher and professor has described what all sport and performance psychologists have known for a long time rather eloquently, in her new book “Mindset”.

The biggest difference between people who are successful, and bounce back from adversity quickly and those who don’t, has to do with their mindset and perspective on FAILURE. 

She describes the difference between what she calls a “Fixed” and a “Growth” Mindset. Something I have long referred to as an Outcome vs Process orientation. 

So what do all this psychological mumbo jumbo mean?

Well…people with an Outcome oriented (Fixed) mindset tend to view things in absolutes: “you are either smart or you aren’t”; “you are talented or you aren’t”, and tend to focus a lot on success and failure. 

They tend to soar when they succeed (as this proves they are smart); and completely plummet (or drop-out) if they fail. 

They tend to get quite anxious before any event that might “test” their ability so they seek to participate in things they are “good at” and avoid things in which they feel inadequate. 

They also may not seek new challenges, and tend to blame others outside of themselves when failure does happen, in order to protect their fragile egos. And sadly they tend to give up, drop-out or withdraw from challenges when they feel they are not “succeeding”.

So…what can you do to develop a Growth Oriented Mindset? 

1) FOCUS ON THE PROCESS: 

People who have a Process Orientation (Growth) Mindset, tend to focus on the process. Success or failure are simply “side-effects” of a particular set of behaviors, but their focus is really on learning and growing. 

 They understand that failing doesn’t represent anything about who they are or their overall ability but simply is a consequence of a set of behaviors. 

2) SEEK OUT CHALLENGES:

Growth Oriented people tend to seek out challenging situations, like to learn constantly, and are not afraid of failing. 

3) FAILURE IS FEEDBACK (And therefore neutral):

Failing is merely “Feedback” about what is not working and provides insight into how they might be able to fix or problem solve their attempts to improve the next time around.

Remember that failure doesn’t mean anything about who you are, your worth or your overall abilities. 

It is merely a reflection of a specific skillset that can be developed through hard work, perseverance, and trial and error. 

The feedback allows you to figure out where you need to change strategy, tweak what you have or need to learn more specific skills or need more practice! 

4) TRY HARDER AND KEEP GOING:

They tend to increase their persistence and effort when things get harder, and also recognize that success doesn’t mean they are better than or worse than anyone else. Simply that their strategy worked for this particular situation. 

They dig deep and increase their focus, perseverance, and effort in attempting the task to increase the odds at success. 

5) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY:

As opposed to those in a fixed mindset, people who practice a growth (or process oriented) mindset, take responsibility for their so-called failures, and figure out what they need to do differently and get to work on that right away!

Often people with a fixed mindset will look for things, people and circumstances to blame as they want to protect their fragile egos.

With a growth mindset there is the knowledge that failure is simply an indicator, feedback that we need to do something different. 

So often you might hear people with a growth mindset say: “I lost focus”; “I need to try a different strategy”; ” I need more practice”, “I will have to work harder”, etc. 

6) BE HUMBLE AND GRACIOUS:

Since success doesn’t mean you are “better than” or “less than” you can simply be grateful and gracious about your success and also help others realize they can succeed as well with hard work and perseverance. 

These mindsets of course are not fixed and like anything else they can be improved via practice!

So take some time and challenge yourself to practice and pretty soon, you will “laugh in the face of failure”. 

Dr. Estanol is a peak performance psychologist and intuitive business coach who is committed to helping individuals turn their passions to meaningful and profitable businesses and break through their internal barriers to success and double their incomes, impact, and live truly luminescent lives!

http://www.luminescent-life.com

She also has a closed group for Conscious Entrepreneurs who want to support and co-create with one another to make a greater positive impact in the world! If this fits you, ask to join!

“Luminous Conscious Entrepreneurs” look us up on Facebook!

%22Courage begins when you acknowledge the fear...

One of the things that most of us have learned (or been taught) to fear the most is the Big “F”…Failure. Sometimes the pure mention of just that word is enough to make some people flinch and shudder.

The thing is that whether we learned to have this response due to the discomfort and pain of

actually experiencing it, or through our societal training…this BELIEF (or story) that “Failure is the Worst Thing Ever”, is actually the biggest thing that stands in the way of our success, abundance, creativity and flow!

Now- I am saying the BELIEF; NOT THE ACTUAL FAILURE.

How could you say this, you may think!! The reason I’m saying it IS because it is what I see happening to many of my friends, clients and colleagues.

See…we constantly are shrinking ourselves down for a multitude of reasons, we want approval, we don’t want to appear big-headed, we are afraid of judgment, we are concerned with what others will think, we are concerned with losing friendships or the impact our failure might have on us and those around us, and mostly we are terrified that if we take a bold leap and put ourselves or our business out there we will F…f…f…fail!

And not only that, that we also will face ridicule and humiliation because others will (God forbid) SEE US fail! So…what we do instead??

We play it safe, we shrink down, we tell ourselves we are crazy, or that our dreams are only dreams and not reality.

We begin to run through the litany of things we imagine others would say IF they saw us fail, because somehow IF WE do this first, then we will be prepared if someone else says it…does this sound familiar?

We also believe that reality, that playing small, shrinking down, and cloaking our brilliance is helpful not just to us but to others around us, SO that way they won’t feel bad, and that we may even make them feel better about themselves.

We maintain the status quo and WE are all happy.

But ARE we?

Let me tell you how you continuing with this farce actually HURTS YOUR success and that of OTHERS!

For you, well…it may be self-evident that if we maintain that something is a dream, and we are reluctant to do anything risky for fear of failure, then yes…we are contributing to our self-fulfilling prophecy that it will be just a dream, nothing more, or that we will indeed fail.

This creates demoralizing thoughts, drains our energy and lowers our vibration; therefore contributing to the dreaded outcome.

Lastly it zaps your motivation and ability to persevere. And this is how your dreams stay in dream state, NEVER materialized. End of story. 

As to the impact upon others…well every time we take a step back or two, to “join the ranks”…we actually contribute to the collective demoralization of everyone else around us!

We actively become a part of the scripts that say: “taking risks is bad because they lead to failure, so staying safe is the best option.” Or “if I leap and fail, everyone will know I am a complete failure”; or “Playing dumb & small helps others feel better.”

Whatever the scripts or the stories are, when we believe them and we actually live in this way, we are contributing to the breakdown of our world.

We contribute to the collective dimming of our light, our gifts, talents and overall brilliance that we have to offer the world. 

And we deprive others of collaborative brilliance, that only comes from the meeting of great minds, hearts and spirits.


We actively withhold our gifts from the world (actively becoming a “gift hoarder” ;-), and in neglecting our dreams and passions we neglect our spirit.

We become more cynical, downtrodden and bitter and we imbue the world and people with whom we interact with this energy!

Failure is in fact YOUR best friend and your greatest teacher! 

It gives you step by step, or hard-knock, to hard-knock, all of the steps you need to succeed….ONLY, and ONLY IF you are willing to LISTEN, and continue to MOVE FORWARD!

Stay tuned….My next post will give you 5 Keys of how to make Failure your Best Friend!

Now I want to hear…what are YOUR thoughts on failure and success! please post below…

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I am a Peak Performance and Intuitive Business Coach helping heart-centered entrepreneurs achieve Success & Flow in their business and their lives, by breaking through their internal barriers to success, and connecting to their intuitive wisdom to enhance their success, income and impact. I have been studying and maximizing human potential for almost a lifetime. Are you ready to reach your dreams and goals?

Check my website at www.luminescent-life.com